Marriage

A marriage of samurai was done by having a marriage arranged by someone with same or higher rank than those marrying. Most upper ranked samurai had trouble meeting a female, people of lower rank usually got married. Most samurai married women from a samurai family but for a lower ranked samurai, a marriage with commoner were permitted. In these marriages, a dowry was brought by women and this was used to start their new lives.

A samurai can have a mistress but she was strictly checked by higher ranked samurai on her background. In many cases, it was treated like a marriage and a kidnapping, common in many fictions, would have been a shame if not a crime. When she was a commoner, a messenger would be sent, with a betrothal money or a note for exemption of tax, and ask for her acceptance to her parents. Many parents accepted, if she gave birth to a kid the boy could be a samurai.